Without further ado...
Master-ful
Roger Delgado
Gloriously goateed arch-enemy of Jon Pertwee's Dr Who. The beautiful symmetry of its zebra patterning only add to the villainy. Described by that august institution, The Daily Mail, as 'the look of a Nazi war criminal on the run in Latin America.' Works for me.
Country Music Hall of Fame Part 1 - The Old Guard
Kris Kristofferson
The best beard in country music, by a country mile. Kenny Rogers included. KK is proof that some men just don't look right without a beard (perhaps the mark of a true beardy?).
Country Music Hall of Fame Part 2- Young Guns
Josh T. Pearson
The best beard in alt-country music, by a country mile. Will Oldham included. This is what I want to look like when I grow up.
Country Music Hall of Fame Part 3 - Lifetime Achievement
Merle Haggard
The Hag must get a special mention for showing real longevity and variety in the country facial hair stakes: full beard, goatee with tache, plain goatee, mutton chops, plain tache - Merle has rocked them all and lived to tell the tale.
Nineteenth Century Elegance
Joseph Conrad
A supreme stylist in prose and beards. Somehow managed to combine a Nemo-like nautical ruggedness with a very well tended tache. Special mentions must go to other inspirational C19th novelists and beard rockers – Wilkie Collins, Charles Dickens, Tolstoy, Dostoyevksy, DH Lawrence et al.
Gentlemen, I doth my cap.
Straight, no razor
Thelonious Monk
The Monk's moody magnificence more than compensates for a surprising lack of beards amongst jazz greats. He earns bonus points for always setting it off with great shades and even an occasional 'Benny' hat..
Mustachioed Marvels (1)
Clark Gable
A rakish pencil tache classic, working in conjunction with a permanently raised eyebrow. Unfortunately even the power of Clark's tache could not disguise his halitosis. Nevertheless, the King of Hollywood was a king of tache wearers.
A rakish pencil tache classic, working in conjunction with a permanently raised eyebrow. Unfortunately even the power of Clark's tache could not disguise his halitosis. Nevertheless, the King of Hollywood was a king of tache wearers.
Mustachioed Marvels (2)
David Crosby
A fulsome, walrus-like beast – hinting at dangers within, perhaps also useful when freebasing cocaine
Merv Hughes
Handlebar hugeness of Nietzschean proportions from the Aussie fast bowler. Guaranteed to strike fear into the heart of any weak-kneed, clean shaven English batsman.
Mustachioed Marvels (4)
Terry Thomas
Classic cad tache that perfectly complimented his gap-toothed lechery.
Could have been contenders... Those who should have stuck with it:
Josh Brolin
No Country for Old men was a wonderful modern take on an old classic. The same might be said of Josh's tache.
Elvis Costello
'Mighty Like a Rose' may have been a career low point according to the critics, but EC's image surely reached a hirsute high point. 'King of America' featured a prototype of this look, where he, in his own words, 'wore it proudly'.
Follicular Faux pas - Those who shouldn't have bothered...
Simon Le Bon
Actually a good beard that suits his once boyish features but the look is totally undermined by excessive use of ‘just for men’. Embrace the grey, Simon!
Jeremy Beadle
The use of a trimmed beard to create an illusory jawline is as old as facial hair iteslf, but this really was a feeble attempt at disguising double chins.
Jonathon Frakes
Commander Riker from Star trek TNG should have left the Nemo look to Nemo and Joseph Conrad. Evil Spock's goatee in parallel universe story 'Mirror mirror' was far more impressive.
James McAvoy
That’s not a beard it's bumfluff. From Shameless to shameful.
That’s not a beard it's bumfluff. From Shameless to shameful.
Joaquin Phoenix
For once, words just about fail me…
Razor blades, young man!
